Navigating The Holiday Season With Family
By: Lexi Nass, LCSW
The holiday season can be an enjoyable time of year that is highly anticipated by many as a time to unwind, observe holidays, or just take a break from work, and, typically a time spent with loved ones. Whether they be friends, family, or both, navigating different dynamics of the people you are with can be challenging. While the holidays can be an exciting time that many look forward to, it can also be a very hard time for others. If the holidays tend to be a stressful time for you because it can be difficult to deal with challenging family members, here are some tips to help navigate that stress:
Set boundaries: If you are going into a situation knowing that historically there is typically drama, it can be helpful to set boundaries in advance to feel prepared and to avoid feeling caught off guard. The anticipation of whether certain triggering topics or conversations will arise can feel very anxiety provoking and unsettling. If you know there are certain topics that feel challenging to discuss, let your family know ahead of time which topics are “off limits”. Creating a plan and communicating with your family members ahead of time will allow you to feel prepared and more at ease when going into conversations. If you are not able to set those boundaries ahead of time, you can always set boundaries in the moment by walking away or expressing that you would like to change the topic.
Take breaks: If there is someone that is difficult to be around, know that you can take breaks. Leaving the situation or conversation may be necessary to avoid further conflict. Excuse yourself from a conversation, go for a walk, or go into another room. Do not be afraid or feel ashamed if you have to walk away and take time for yourself.
Set limits: Limiting your time with family may be helpful. It’s important to think about what feels best for you. If you can acknowledge that extended amounts of time together usually don’t end well for you, it may be more beneficial for both you and your family members to minimize the time together. Perhaps you can spend a day together, rather an entire weekend, or one meal together rather than three consecutive meals.
Stick to your values: Stick to your values and remind yourself what is most important during this time. While it may feel important to spend time with your family, it is also important to prioritize your mental health and what feels good for you. To maintain your own values and priorities, it may be necessary to avoid certain family members when they act out, or not involve yourself in a conflict or conversation. See if you can gravitate towards those who help you feel most align with your values.
Practice self-care: Finding ways to release negativity, whether that be negative thoughts or feelings, in a productive and healthy way is important[mr1] . Practicing self-care and making time for yourself is critical. Some ways to practice self-care could be exercising, relaxing, listening to music or meditating.
Do what is best for you: It is okay to sometimes be selfish and say “no” to plans that do not best serve you or your health. Remember that the holidays are a time for celebration, and this can mean that spending time with family is always the best option for you. Surrounding yourself with people that bring out the best in you- whether that may just be your partner or your friends, may be the better choice for you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed out during the holiday season, just remember that you are not alone. If you would like to work together to learn more tips on navigating complicated relationships during the holidays, reach out to us at hello@upsidertherapy.com to schedule your first session!